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2015 end of year writing meme!
Total number of stories worked on: i honestly have so many wips i haven't finished/continued past the opening lines, that i really don't know... i mean i have 15 wips right now, so at least over 30.
Total number of completed stories: 10
Fandoms written in: infinite, ikon, winner, 4minute, got7, haikyuu
Total word count: 89 455 words
January
Just to Waste My Time with You
ikon, junhwe/jinhwan, 13,026 words
February
Fate Is a One-Way Street
infinite, woohyun/sungkyu, 11,879 words
March
Call It Passive or Aggressive
ikon, junhwe/donghyuk, 2238 words
April
Torched
ikon, b.i/jinhwan, 6808 words
Hate the Sin, and the Sinner
4minute, gayoon/doojoon, 9574 words (written for kpop_olymfics)
May
June
word is on the street that the fire in your heart is out
winner, seungyoon/jinwoo, 11,324 words (written for winnerexchange)
July
August
Talk About the Weather
infinite, woohyun/sungkyu, 10,218 words (written for seasonthreee)
September
Mortal Enemies Part II: Wilder & Sexier
got7, junior/jackson, 8203 words (written for kpop_ficmix)
October
love's not the way to treat a friend
haikyuu!!, kuroo/kenma, 8150 words
November
December
sing, sing, sing
ikon, junhwe/jinhwan 8035 words
Overall
Looking back, did you write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you’d predicted? looking back i'd actually say more? i don't think i've written much compared to a lot of other people, but i definitely didn't come into this year thinking i'd be all that involved in fic. i've written a lot more this year than i have any other year, and i think the only reason i thought i didn't was because this year i felt very acutely aware of my output. before 2015 fanfiction was an after thought to me and i wasn't all that involved in ficdom, and i had pretty much fallen out of kpop later half of 2013/2014. so yeah, i've definitely written more than i thought i would.
What pairing/genre/fandom did you write that you would never have predicted in January? haikyuu!! (or haikew, as i used to call it). i read the entire manga for the sole purpose of writing a specific fic for a specific pairing for a specific person, so i mean... it's hard to have foresight on things like this.
What’s your own favorite story of the year? Not the most popular, but the one that makes you happiest? i'd say either "hate the sin, and the sinner" or "talk about the weather". "hate the sin" because i've been wanting to write a substantial 4minute fic for a while, and i think in general i put a lot more thought into it than i do usually, just because of the nature of canon fic/olymfics. plus i really enjoyed bouncing ideas for it off other people even though the writing process was pain. i definitely think it could've been better, but i don't know... i just like it. "talk about the weather" i like because by the end of writing it i gave no fucks and made it as makjang as i wanted to, and i think it just felt liberating after spending most of the year feeling really self-conscious about my writing.
Did you take any writing risks this year? What did you learn from them? i don't think so. i actually think one of my weaknesses is that as a writer i don't take many risks. which leads into the next question...
Do you have any fanfic or profic goals for the New Year? i guess take more risks with my writing? also, i feel like this will still be a work in progress, but i want to get over the self-consciousness i have in regards to writing and just write whatever i want again. oh and also to become more concise as writer, and to have more descriptions and less internal monologue.
My goals from last year were: non-existent, haha.
From my past year of writing, what was…
My best story of this year: i think "mortal enemies part II" was the fic people enjoyed the most, so i'm inclined to call it my best story for that reason, even though it didn't feel that way? actually it's interesting what people perceive as your best fic and what you consider your best fic. anyway, personally i'd say it was "hate the sin, and the sinner"
My most popular story of this year: "love's not the way to treat a friend" by default, considering it was for a popular pairing for a big fandom. i always knew k-pop was small, and within that the groups i write for don't have the most active fandoms, but i was still taken aback by how many kudos/hits that fic managed to amass in such a short amount of time.
Story of mine most under-appreciated by the universe, in my opinion: i'm not trying to be humble, but i don't think any? i think there's always going to be a skew in regards to what fics become more popular depending on fandom size/pairing/presence of porn, so i feel like every fic i've written has gotten the appreciation it's deserved. if i HAD to choose, i'd say "word is on the street the fire in your heart is out" because winner fandom is tiny, but even then i'm more than happy with the reception, because my recipient really enjoyed it, and i got a lot of sweet, meaningful comments on it, even if it didn't translate to kudos.
Most fun story to write: all fic is pain, but "just to waste my time with you"! my first fic of 2015, my first fic for a new group, and i wrote it very independently without thinking much of the existing fandom at all. i really want to go back to that feeling of getting into winner/ikon for the first time, i felt so stimulated fic wise and everything felt so new and exciting.
Story with the single sexiest moment: haha, none u__u
Most “Holy crap, that’s wrong, even for you” story: also none. but please anticipate infidelity au 2k16!!! (jk)
Story that shifted my own perceptions of the characters: i think since kpop is rpf, with every story i write i feel like i'm honestly discovering something new about the people i'm writing? because i'm always thinking, oh how would so and so react in a situation like this? if this happened, would so and so still be the same person? this is making the process sound a lot deeper than it actually is, but i feel like my perceptions are always shifting with every story i not only write, but also read.
Hardest story to write: WHY WAS WINNERX SO IMPOSSIBLE??? to this day i don't know why it was so difficult for me, but i don't think i have ever experienced such terrible writers block, and there was a point where i honestly didn't think i would be able to finish it and would be the person dropping out 2 weeks after the due date. anyway, the exchange broke me and i broke the exchange.
Biggest disappointment: that i spent the entire year crying to people about feeling anxious/self-conscious about fic (this is like... beyond first world problems... i don't even know), and not actually conquering it/writing.
Biggest surprise: not a surprise but i realised my first fic of 2015 was a junhwan and my last fic of 2015 was also a junhwan #eternaljunhwan. oh, and i actually have a fic titled after a wonderwall lyric (i hate you angela)
Highlights + Wrap-up:
Favourite Opening Lines (3):
1. It’s safe to say Gayoon’s career is probably ruined. Not her career as a whole, of course. But her career as being relatively wholesome and at the very least, slightly more likeable than the rest of her bandmates.
2. Honestly, Jackson should have gotten the memo when he’d first read the details about the party on Facebook, because even though there was nothing on the page that explicitly said he wasn’t welcome here, there’s really only one reason why anyone would host a Christmas party at the end of January.
3. Donghyuk attributes many factors to Junhwe’s tendency to bring stifling awkwardness wherever he goes. In fact, he’d very precisely summarised them into a list, one that he’d pushed into Junhwe’s hand and told him to analyze in preparation for the audition.
Favourite Closing Lines (3):
1. there is no number one because ALL MY FICS LITERALLY END THE SAME WAY ("Dialogue," meaningful action, "dialogue.")
2. “I really really like you,” Jinhwan says easily, softly closing Junhwe’s mouth shut with his thumb. “A lot.”
3. Jinwoo doesn’t look at him, but the smug smile is obvious just from the side. “I’m not an idiot,” he replies. “I just pretend to be, sometimes.”
Favorite 5 Line(s) from Anywhere:
1. The skull is suddenly a lot more relevant now, because Hot Vampire is smiling at Jackson like he can’t wait to bring him home, undress him slowly, and then impale his body on a pike.
2. Sungkyu calls Woohyun a NEET and tells him to get a job, a hobby, or a girlfriend. Woohyun has the same answers every time: “I have a job”, “my job is my hobby” and “No”.
3. The first time Jinhwan had attempted to be cordial during the audition, Junhwe had grunted in response. Grunted. Like a fucking caveman. Me. Koo Junhwe. You. Cute. Be wife? Know fire?
4. He shakes his head until the right word settles itself at the front of his memory. “White,” he answers. Dirty white, actually. Like the colour of the snow after Sunggyu had trekked all over it. Like the colour of Sunggyu’s sheets if they’d been a canvas, and Woohyun a brush.
5. “I won’t,” Lev says. He’d seen Kenma’s old dorm when he’d helped him move out, he knows Kenma’s not going anywhere. “Really though, what happened? Did he turn you down? You don’t have to be ashamed. Kuroo-san is a ten, you’re about an eight when you smile. Even I, a solid nine and a half, wouldn’t be in Kuroo’s league.”
In Conclusion: This was the first year where I felt very keenly aware of how much of my person was attached to my writing. I know this sounds over-dramatic, but writing, even if it's fanfic writing, is honestly such a personal thing and I think there's always a bit of you in every single thing you write, whether it's porn, or fluff, or even not!fic. For the most part, before 2015 I spent my time in ficdom very sporadically, anonymous and just dropping fics into the void without anyone really knowing who I was; my likes or dislikes; very few friends or people who knew me on any kind of personal level. I'm really glad for all the friends I made in 2015, and I don't think anyone really cares about what I write. But I think the sudden transition from being mostly alone, to talking to so many people and suddenly being equipped with the knowledge that there are people out there that can connect the fic I write to me, as a person, and not a username, was a bit anxiety-inducing at first. I think it's the same mentality as to why people are always most self-conscious to show their writing/works to close friends/family, but not as much to strangers? This is such an unsatisfying conclusion, and a lot of you guys reading this are probably rolling your eyes because I have expressed this to my fandom friends so many times, probably hoping that self-awareness would equal defeat. But anyway, this year I'm going to just stop giving a fuck and enjoy things more, write what I want, and also be more successful in making friends write what I want to read. Here's to (hopefully) a great 2016!!
Total number of completed stories: 10
Fandoms written in: infinite, ikon, winner, 4minute, got7, haikyuu
Total word count: 89 455 words
January
Just to Waste My Time with You
ikon, junhwe/jinhwan, 13,026 words
February
Fate Is a One-Way Street
infinite, woohyun/sungkyu, 11,879 words
March
Call It Passive or Aggressive
ikon, junhwe/donghyuk, 2238 words
April
Torched
ikon, b.i/jinhwan, 6808 words
Hate the Sin, and the Sinner
4minute, gayoon/doojoon, 9574 words (written for kpop_olymfics)
May
June
word is on the street that the fire in your heart is out
winner, seungyoon/jinwoo, 11,324 words (written for winnerexchange)
July
August
Talk About the Weather
infinite, woohyun/sungkyu, 10,218 words (written for seasonthreee)
September
Mortal Enemies Part II: Wilder & Sexier
got7, junior/jackson, 8203 words (written for kpop_ficmix)
October
love's not the way to treat a friend
haikyuu!!, kuroo/kenma, 8150 words
November
December
sing, sing, sing
ikon, junhwe/jinhwan 8035 words
Overall
Looking back, did you write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you’d predicted? looking back i'd actually say more? i don't think i've written much compared to a lot of other people, but i definitely didn't come into this year thinking i'd be all that involved in fic. i've written a lot more this year than i have any other year, and i think the only reason i thought i didn't was because this year i felt very acutely aware of my output. before 2015 fanfiction was an after thought to me and i wasn't all that involved in ficdom, and i had pretty much fallen out of kpop later half of 2013/2014. so yeah, i've definitely written more than i thought i would.
What pairing/genre/fandom did you write that you would never have predicted in January? haikyuu!! (or haikew, as i used to call it). i read the entire manga for the sole purpose of writing a specific fic for a specific pairing for a specific person, so i mean... it's hard to have foresight on things like this.
What’s your own favorite story of the year? Not the most popular, but the one that makes you happiest? i'd say either "hate the sin, and the sinner" or "talk about the weather". "hate the sin" because i've been wanting to write a substantial 4minute fic for a while, and i think in general i put a lot more thought into it than i do usually, just because of the nature of canon fic/olymfics. plus i really enjoyed bouncing ideas for it off other people even though the writing process was pain. i definitely think it could've been better, but i don't know... i just like it. "talk about the weather" i like because by the end of writing it i gave no fucks and made it as makjang as i wanted to, and i think it just felt liberating after spending most of the year feeling really self-conscious about my writing.
Did you take any writing risks this year? What did you learn from them? i don't think so. i actually think one of my weaknesses is that as a writer i don't take many risks. which leads into the next question...
Do you have any fanfic or profic goals for the New Year? i guess take more risks with my writing? also, i feel like this will still be a work in progress, but i want to get over the self-consciousness i have in regards to writing and just write whatever i want again. oh and also to become more concise as writer, and to have more descriptions and less internal monologue.
My goals from last year were: non-existent, haha.
From my past year of writing, what was…
My best story of this year: i think "mortal enemies part II" was the fic people enjoyed the most, so i'm inclined to call it my best story for that reason, even though it didn't feel that way? actually it's interesting what people perceive as your best fic and what you consider your best fic. anyway, personally i'd say it was "hate the sin, and the sinner"
My most popular story of this year: "love's not the way to treat a friend" by default, considering it was for a popular pairing for a big fandom. i always knew k-pop was small, and within that the groups i write for don't have the most active fandoms, but i was still taken aback by how many kudos/hits that fic managed to amass in such a short amount of time.
Story of mine most under-appreciated by the universe, in my opinion: i'm not trying to be humble, but i don't think any? i think there's always going to be a skew in regards to what fics become more popular depending on fandom size/pairing/presence of porn, so i feel like every fic i've written has gotten the appreciation it's deserved. if i HAD to choose, i'd say "word is on the street the fire in your heart is out" because winner fandom is tiny, but even then i'm more than happy with the reception, because my recipient really enjoyed it, and i got a lot of sweet, meaningful comments on it, even if it didn't translate to kudos.
Most fun story to write: all fic is pain, but "just to waste my time with you"! my first fic of 2015, my first fic for a new group, and i wrote it very independently without thinking much of the existing fandom at all. i really want to go back to that feeling of getting into winner/ikon for the first time, i felt so stimulated fic wise and everything felt so new and exciting.
Story with the single sexiest moment: haha, none u__u
Most “Holy crap, that’s wrong, even for you” story: also none. but please anticipate infidelity au 2k16!!! (jk)
Story that shifted my own perceptions of the characters: i think since kpop is rpf, with every story i write i feel like i'm honestly discovering something new about the people i'm writing? because i'm always thinking, oh how would so and so react in a situation like this? if this happened, would so and so still be the same person? this is making the process sound a lot deeper than it actually is, but i feel like my perceptions are always shifting with every story i not only write, but also read.
Hardest story to write: WHY WAS WINNERX SO IMPOSSIBLE??? to this day i don't know why it was so difficult for me, but i don't think i have ever experienced such terrible writers block, and there was a point where i honestly didn't think i would be able to finish it and would be the person dropping out 2 weeks after the due date. anyway, the exchange broke me and i broke the exchange.
Biggest disappointment: that i spent the entire year crying to people about feeling anxious/self-conscious about fic (this is like... beyond first world problems... i don't even know), and not actually conquering it/writing.
Biggest surprise: not a surprise but i realised my first fic of 2015 was a junhwan and my last fic of 2015 was also a junhwan #eternaljunhwan. oh, and i actually have a fic titled after a wonderwall lyric (i hate you angela)
Highlights + Wrap-up:
Favourite Opening Lines (3):
1. It’s safe to say Gayoon’s career is probably ruined. Not her career as a whole, of course. But her career as being relatively wholesome and at the very least, slightly more likeable than the rest of her bandmates.
2. Honestly, Jackson should have gotten the memo when he’d first read the details about the party on Facebook, because even though there was nothing on the page that explicitly said he wasn’t welcome here, there’s really only one reason why anyone would host a Christmas party at the end of January.
3. Donghyuk attributes many factors to Junhwe’s tendency to bring stifling awkwardness wherever he goes. In fact, he’d very precisely summarised them into a list, one that he’d pushed into Junhwe’s hand and told him to analyze in preparation for the audition.
Favourite Closing Lines (3):
1. there is no number one because ALL MY FICS LITERALLY END THE SAME WAY ("Dialogue," meaningful action, "dialogue.")
2. “I really really like you,” Jinhwan says easily, softly closing Junhwe’s mouth shut with his thumb. “A lot.”
3. Jinwoo doesn’t look at him, but the smug smile is obvious just from the side. “I’m not an idiot,” he replies. “I just pretend to be, sometimes.”
Favorite 5 Line(s) from Anywhere:
1. The skull is suddenly a lot more relevant now, because Hot Vampire is smiling at Jackson like he can’t wait to bring him home, undress him slowly, and then impale his body on a pike.
2. Sungkyu calls Woohyun a NEET and tells him to get a job, a hobby, or a girlfriend. Woohyun has the same answers every time: “I have a job”, “my job is my hobby” and “No”.
3. The first time Jinhwan had attempted to be cordial during the audition, Junhwe had grunted in response. Grunted. Like a fucking caveman. Me. Koo Junhwe. You. Cute. Be wife? Know fire?
4. He shakes his head until the right word settles itself at the front of his memory. “White,” he answers. Dirty white, actually. Like the colour of the snow after Sunggyu had trekked all over it. Like the colour of Sunggyu’s sheets if they’d been a canvas, and Woohyun a brush.
5. “I won’t,” Lev says. He’d seen Kenma’s old dorm when he’d helped him move out, he knows Kenma’s not going anywhere. “Really though, what happened? Did he turn you down? You don’t have to be ashamed. Kuroo-san is a ten, you’re about an eight when you smile. Even I, a solid nine and a half, wouldn’t be in Kuroo’s league.”
In Conclusion: This was the first year where I felt very keenly aware of how much of my person was attached to my writing. I know this sounds over-dramatic, but writing, even if it's fanfic writing, is honestly such a personal thing and I think there's always a bit of you in every single thing you write, whether it's porn, or fluff, or even not!fic. For the most part, before 2015 I spent my time in ficdom very sporadically, anonymous and just dropping fics into the void without anyone really knowing who I was; my likes or dislikes; very few friends or people who knew me on any kind of personal level. I'm really glad for all the friends I made in 2015, and I don't think anyone really cares about what I write. But I think the sudden transition from being mostly alone, to talking to so many people and suddenly being equipped with the knowledge that there are people out there that can connect the fic I write to me, as a person, and not a username, was a bit anxiety-inducing at first. I think it's the same mentality as to why people are always most self-conscious to show their writing/works to close friends/family, but not as much to strangers? This is such an unsatisfying conclusion, and a lot of you guys reading this are probably rolling your eyes because I have expressed this to my fandom friends so many times, probably hoping that self-awareness would equal defeat. But anyway, this year I'm going to just stop giving a fuck and enjoy things more, write what I want, and also be more successful in making friends write what I want to read. Here's to (hopefully) a great 2016!!
no subject
A+++++ I LOVE IT HAHAHA
But anyway, this year I'm going to just stop giving a fuck and enjoy things more, write what I want, and also be more successful in making friends write what I want to read.
AMEN SISTER! This is the spirit to be honest! And also, I think your thoughts are completely valid and even if it unsatisfying, you made such a great point that not a lot of people actually realize. Or think about only at the back of their minds. To be able to express it yourself is a good thing! :)